In my heart

Dear Graham:

Tomorrow is your Christmas program at school, and I won't be there. I have wrestled with the difficulties of being a working mommy, and this is one that I just can't beat. I will miss your singing and your dancing (Mommy was in Show Choir, so really put some emotion into it for me). Even though you won't see me sitting among the other parents there, please know that at exactly the moment your performance starts, I will be thinking of you and praying for you to not be scared. I will sing your little songs in my head and when Daddy brings me the video, I will watch it with you and ooohhh and ahhh at how amazing you were up there.

Mommy often hears how much better a parent I would be if I just accomplished _______ or just stayed home to ________ or just did ______ the way they did. Well, you never say that to me. You never mention any shortcomings I have or anything that I'm missing. You don't ever start a conversation with something that I'm not doing. Instead, you run to hug me when you see me. You share your secrets (and your chocolate) with me. You cuddle up to me and beg me to read you Charlie the Ranchdog just one more time and scream with excitement when our favorite show, "Doc McStuffins" is coming on (which I think you only like because I do!). And so I am confident that your day tomorrow is no where near ruined because I will be at work, but that you will LOVE to share your excitement with me when I meet you at the door tomorrow afternoon. I adore you, Graham, and anything you do, create, sing, bake, or imagine up is simply intoxicating (I particularly enjoyed yesterday's wolf...aka Miss Beasley...hunt that you and Ollie went on). You are an amazing child, and I am so very lucky that I am allowed to be your mother (even if I am a working one).

All of my love,
Mommy

PS--If Oliver screams at you while you are singing, don't get angry with him. He just loves you as much as I do and wants to join you up there.